When?

How many times have I heard the questions, "Do you have kids?" and "When are you having kids?"

Too many times!

Yes I have been married for awhile now. 9 years next month. Of course people ask how many children we have. When I say "none yet." They continue to ask questions.

They ask questions that have no answers. I don't even know. I don't know when I will have children. If I will have children. How many children I will have. I have no clue.

These questions that seem so easy to ask are not so easy to answer. Be aware. Be kind.

I went a lot of years alone with this. I am speaking out to make sure others don't feel alone.

You aren't alone.

A Year Ago

This time last year we were pregnant. We got our first positive test on April 14th. Then 2 days later we had an even stronger positive! A few days after that we went to our fertility specialist to do a blood test. They called us on the afternoon of April 18th and confirmed that yes we were pregnant! We couldn't have been happier. Treatment had worked and we were finally going to have a baby.

It was Easter weekend. We told family and close friends who knew that we were going through treatment. My mom cried! She was so happy. 

We were going to have an almost Christmas baby! Due right around Dec 22nd.

Then the following weekend the bleeding started.

It was all over.

Here we are a year later. Still waiting to be parents. Still waiting for our child.

No end in sight to this waiting.